Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
