i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
