My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
