Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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