wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
