No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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