fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
