David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wish i was in the wii world.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
