He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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