she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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