All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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