yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
