Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
