i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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