All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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