may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I wear drunk well.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
