he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
