he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Welp...herpes.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
