I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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