Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
