WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
