I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
