fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
