you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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