why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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