Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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