It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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