Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
