I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
A bitchslap is in order.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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