You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
