just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
