Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
