we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont even know how to be here
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize