we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
So squirting runs in the family.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
