He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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