Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
