I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So vagazzling was a success
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
