I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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