DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
