I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
