It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
