arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
