you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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