Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
