Quick, to the slutcave!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
