i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
