had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
