I wish my penis had an off switch
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
