Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
