just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
This toilet bowl is my home.
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